Do you ever experience that? That someone notices something and you feel kinda ‘caught’ in the act? Sometimes I do something very consciously, but I assume that nobody realizes that I do so. For example, if I consciously choose my body language and want to appear natural, but nonetheless someone notices it and shares this. Or sometimes I am completely unaware of something, until someone points it out to me. For example, that I can make so many connections to my adventures in Nepal and I will tell about it very enthusiastically, but this does not add anything to the actual conversation because I’m the only one who saw any connection… and I never realised this at all. And I had another moment last week of getting ‘caught’ while I was playing a new game. I always get a little stressed from gaming and then someone said “you know you don’t have to be the best in one go, do you?” And then I realised that I do indeed strive to do it right immediately, always. (Feel the pressure … and I just put it on myself haha)

If you were to hold up a mirror today, what would you catch yourself doing?

I do enjoy being “caught” on my habits, although it sometimes takes time to accept feedback. Sometimes holding up a mirror is very effective and I think I like it now especially because I am very happy with my life, bring on the criticism hahaha! Despite the pressure and many new things, I feel very strong in my shoes (great Dutch expression). The confidence that I will always take care of my own happiness is a huge boost. I also notice that I really appreciate being alone. I had recently gone out bouldering on my own, which was definitely out of my comfort zone, and definitely something I just wanted to do, so I did it, alone!

What do you experience when you are alone?
How much do you trust your own happiness?

I can sometimes lose myself in thoughts, I think a lot of people do this. There is so much going on in my head and I often make things bigger that they are. Past thoughts, experiences and patterns play up and worrying is easy. I can lose myself in this and that is also allowed, AND I often choose to step out of these lines of thought that don’t support me, train myself in positive thinking. My wise friend gave me the golden tip to visualize what is going on, how big do I make it in my head, how big is it really?, and then choose to make all those things the same size. It works fascinatingly well for me haha.

What is important to you now?
What if you take a step back and look from a distance, what do you see?
How big or how small would you like to make everything?
What works and what doesn’t?